1. I currently run a monthly ‘in person’ group in London (Hackney) for men into BDSM/Kink, with a new intake due in January 2026. The group has up to 8 participants and meets on a Saturday afternoon for 3hrs. There is usually a combination of some loosely structured time, looking at different aspects of sex or relationship, and there is time for participants to bring their own interests and material. I welcome issues related to sex/kink and also those related to wider life-challenges and experiences.

  2. I am restarting an online group for men into BDSM/Kink in November 25. The group will meet for 2hrs approx every 3 weeks via zoom. Each group will start with a check in and end with a check out. There will be some structured activities, and time in breakout rooms. There will also be time to look at issues brought by participants.

The intention with both groups is to create a safe enough space with each other to support the sharing of intimate experiences, and get to know one another in ways that are sometimes harder in kink-defined spaces. The groups can be a place where it is safe to experiment with voicing needs, vulnerabilities and traumas that underly a kinky orientation.

In early sessions and when there are new members we discuss confidentiality and other group rules/norms intended to provide sufficient safety to explore personal material. The group is a non-sexualised space, meaning that it is fine and normal to develop attractions. However I have a firm boundary against being sexual with each other in the group.

Potential issues that group members explore:

> What it’s like to share with others what you like in a non sexualised context, dealing with issues of shame/acceptance.

> How do you get your needs met - in sex, relationship.  

> Trauma/developmental underpinnings of sex/kink.

> Anything else that’s going on in your life - grief, family relationships, aging.

> Privilege/Oppression dynamics and how they manifest in the group, and in your life.

How the group works

> There’s a possibility for members to do individual work in the group… it’s okay to ask for time focussed on you. 

> We may also spend time with group themes that emerge, and or explore relationships in the group 

> We might use experiment in the group to deepen awareness. 

> We might use break-out groups.


Gestalt - works with awareness

  • I am interested in the kind of contact you make with others.

  • I am interested in the meaning YOU make of the ‘work’ you do in the group… I am not the expert on you.

  • I ask that you try to own what you say (make it about you)… and so avoid advice giving.

My rules

> It’s always fine to say no to anything I or a participant suggests you might try.

> You can talk as much or as little about sex as is comfortable. 

> It’s fine to interrupt me or contradict me

> I’m looking for you to take some responsibility for getting your needs met in the group. I expect you to ask for what you want. 

> if you’re left with anything that’s difficult you can contact me outside the group. I offer each group member a 30minute 1 on 1 session during the 6-session group duration.


Cost:

The cost for the groups is £40-60 per session (at your discretion) with a requirement to pay upfront for a 6 session block. [discounts and staggered payments can be negotiated if you need the support]. I am asking that you make a commitment to stay with the group for 6 months.

Participant requirements: 

> male identifying (welcoming of trans and non-binary participants).

> interest in BDSM/kink

> previous experience of some therapy desirable but not necessary.

> willing to commit to attend for 6 months (a minimum of 4 out of 6 sessions)

> a half hour meeting with me requested prior to agreeing your participation.