I am starting an ‘in person’ monthly group in London (Hackney) for men into BDSM/Kink. The group will have up to 8 participants and will meet probably on a weekend afternoon (2-3hrs), to suit the maximum number of people who express an interest. The group will start in May 2025.
Each group session will start and end each session with a check in and check out. The rest of the time is spent drawing out and discussing shared themes that come up. This might involve discussing or experimenting as a whole group or in smaller breakout groups, or it might involve working with an individual around issues they bring. The group can be a space for you to bring anything that is going on in your life - not limited to sex and intimate relationships. One of the values of the group is to learn about each other’s experiences of living lives that include kink/bdsm.
It can also be a place where it is safe to experiment with voicing needs, vulnerabilities and traumas that underly a kinky orientation.
In early sessions and when there are new members we discuss confidentiality and other group rules/norms intended to provide sufficient safety to explore personal material.
Potential issues that group members explore:
> What it’s like to share with others what you like in a non sexualised context, dealing with issues of shame/acceptance. You are welcome to experiment with wearing your kinky gear.
> How do you get your needs met - sex, relationship.
> Trauma/developmental underpinnings.
> Anything else that’s going on in your life - grief, family relationships, aging.
How the group works
> There’s a possibility for members to do individual work in the group… it’s okay to ask for time focussed on you.
> We may also spend time with group themes that emerge, and or explore relationships in the group
> We might use experiment in the group to deepen awareness.
> We might use break-out groups.
Gestalt - works with awareness
I am interested in the kind of contact you make with others.
I am interested in the meaning you make of the ‘work’ you do in the group… I am not an expert on you.
I ask that you try to own what you say… avoid advice giving.
My rules
> It’s always fine to say no
> You can talk as much or as little about sex as is comfortable.
> It’s fine to interrupt me or contradict me
> I’m looking for you to take some responsibility in getting your needs met in the group. It’s okay to ask for what you want.
> if you’re left with anything that’s difficult you can contact me outside the group. I offer each group member a 30minute 1 on 1 session during the 6-session group duration.
Cost:
The cost for the group will be £40-50 per session (at your discretion) with a requirement to pay upfront for a 6 session block. [discounts and staggered payment arrangements can be negotiated if you need it]. I ask that you make a commitment to stay with the group for 6 months.
Participant requirements:
> male identifying
> interest in BDSM/kink
> previous experience of some therapy desirable but not necessary.
> willing to commit to attend for 6 months (a minimum of 4 out of 6 sessions)
> a half hour meeting with me requested prior to agreeing your participation.