I run a fortnightly group for men into BDSM/Kink. The group has up to 10 participants at any one time, and meets alternate Saturday’s between 15.00 - 17.00 UK. There are likely to be a few places in the existing group available starting February 2025, and subject to demand I may start a new group with the possibility of meeting at a different time.
The group includes people from different countries and continents, and people with a range of different fetish/kinks. We start and end each session with a check in and check out. The rest of the time is spent drawing out and discussing shared themes that come up. This might involve discussing or experimenting as a whole group or in smaller breakout groups, or it might involve working with an individual around issues they bring. The group can be a space for you to bring anything that is going on in your life - not limited to sex and intimate relationships. One of the values of the group is to learn about other’s experiences of living lives that include kink/bdsm.
It can also be a place where it is safe to experiment with voicing needs, vulnerabilities and traumas that underly a kinky orientation, but can be harder to find direct expression during sex sessions.
In early sessions and when there are new members we discuss confidentiality and other group rules/norms intended to provide sufficient safety to explore personal material.
Potential issues that group members explore:
> What it’s like to share with others what you like in a non sexualised context, dealing with issues of shame/acceptance. You are welcome to experiment with wearing your kinky gear.
> How do you get your needs met - sex, relationship.
> Trauma/developmental underpinnings.
> Anything else that’s going on in your life - grief, family relationships, aging.
How the group works
> There’s a possibility for members to do individual work in the group… it’s okay to ask for time.
> We may also spend time with group themes that emerge, and or explore relationships in the group
> We might use experiment in the group to deepen awareness.
> We sometimes use break-out groups.
Gestalt - works with awareness
I am interested in the kind of contact we make with others. I might intervene to focus awareness as you talk.
I ask that you try to own what you say… avoid advice giving.
My rules
> It’s always fine to say no
> You can talk as much or as little about sex as is comfortable.
> It’s fine to interrupt me
> I’m looking for your support around what the group needs. if you’re not getting your needs met in the group I want you to take some responsibilty for that. It’s okay to ask for what you want.
> if you’re left with anything that’s difficult you can contact me outside the group. I offer each group member a 30minute 1 on 1 session during the 6-session group duration.
Cost:
The cost for the group is between $30-$40 US per session (at your discretion) with a requirement to pay upfront for an 8 session block. [discounts and staggered payment arrangements can be negotiated if you need it].
Participant requirements:
> male identifying
> interest in BDSM/kink
> previous experience of some therapy desirable but not necessary.
> willing to commit to attend for 4 months (a minimum of 6 out of 8 sessions)
> a half hour meeting with me requested prior to agreeing your participation.